He accepted our honorary doctorate in environmental sociology.
The Major Star arrived on campus for the award ceremony and we gave him a dark burgundy robe and mortar board with tassel. The weather was perfect. We all thought his smile was wonderful. As he began climbing to the stage to take his seat, we noticed the Major Star had no socks on.
Does it matter? the Major Star asked.
Well, the media is here, you’ll be front row and your bare ankles will show. You’ll be sitting there and the world will see no socks.
A professor from the awards committee, seated in the back, took off his socks. His wife suggested this and the socks were passed up, then along, to the Major Star. Regular brown dress socks. Hand-to-hand they travelled, like a hot dog at a ballgame.
The Dean and then the awards committee chairperson each gave a brief yet witty speech. A pipeline protest in British Columbia was mentioned. Dramatic pet rescues in New Orleans were highlighted.
When the Major Star took the podium he told a knock-knock doctor joke.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doctor. Doctor Who? No, doctor me!
Brie, pinot-noir, organic beer, locally-grown salads were available under a white tent for everyone invited. Instead of joining in, the Major Star rolled the burgundy robe, hat and loaner socks into a ball. He gave them to the first person walking by. Bare-ankles, he got in his limo and left.
copyright Stephen Caulfield, 2009
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